


桜

by natanije



Series: Self-Indulgent Kakasaku AUs [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Blatant Misuse of Plot, F/M, Noragami AU, Very Cheesy, if you ignore the last part that is, this can be seen as platonic Kakasaku tbh, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 21:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natanije/pseuds/natanije
Summary: “I’ve found you under this beautiful cherry blossom tree. It is just right that your name shall be related to it,” he murmurs, hand extended as the writing seems to imprint onto her collarbone—it’s a name, her name, she thinks rather hysterically—and at the end, he says firmly, “come, Ouki.”





	桜

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: blatant misuse of plot, Noragami AU where every gods in Noragami are somehow perhaps replaced by Naruto characters, for example, Bishamon is replaced by Obito, and Koufuku is replaced by Tsunade. Also this story does not really follow all of the rules in Noragami, especially regarding the regalia thing. You’re welcome.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

She doesn’t know how long she’s standing there.

Without any single care to the world around her, she stands alone, her white sundress fluttering along with the wind. Her emerald orbs are focused on the cherry blossom petals, mesmerized and spellbound by the tree which stands tall and firm.

The petals are as pink as her hair, she notices distantly. A single fleeting thought of her whereabouts and origins come to mind, but it vanishes soon after, and she is once again left to stare at the tree.

Something about it calls her, something nagging in her mind, something that she wishes to remember but at the same time, wishes not to remember, because there’s a voice inside of her head, a pull that moves against her curiosity and wonder, and it tells her not to think, not to remember, not to guess and worry because that is not her place, not anymore, she has no time and place to think about such trivial things anymore.

But what trivial things they are, even she has no slightest idea.

Just as she doesn’t seem to realize that it’s spring, and that it’s supposed to be cold, especially with her sleeveless knee length dress and her bare feet, doesn’t know that there are no people noticing her odd behavior even if she’s standing in the park in broad daylight.

She doesn’t know that there have been people who pass right through her.

How long has she been standing there? She has no idea. But the cherry tree calms her, diverts her attention, and all is right in the world.

Perhaps it takes days, or even months, but after so long of standing there, alone and yet calm under the tree, touching and yet not touching the fluttering petals, someone finally talks to her.

“Hello.”

She blinks out of her stupor, looking to her left to see a tall man in a dark suit and navy blue mask, smiling down at her with his eyes. The woman blinks some more, for she doesn’t really know what to say.

This is the first time anyone has ever spoken to her.

She doesn’t… know what to say.

Luckily, it seems the man is keen to be the one talking, because he bulldozes on before she is even able to muster up a reply.

“My friend has noticed you standing here for quite awhile. Do you like cherry blossoms?”

She blinks, and after a moment of hesitation, inclines her head.

“Hmm, can you speak?” The man asks, though waves his hand when she opens her mouth, “who am I kidding of course you can speak. Anyway—,“ he chuckles at her scowl, the sound deep and seemingly reverberating in his chest, “I think it is best that you don’t lurk around tonight. There is a storm coming.”

The woman furrows her eyebrows, then, looking up toward the sky. Unfortunately, it is almost dark out, and she cannot really discern the signs of an upcoming storm. Inwardly she despairs, how is it going to be for her if the storm really does come? Now that she thinks about it, she has no way to go. Where is her home? Is she supposed to have a home? Where is her family?

That thought makes her insides go cold in realization—

Does she even have a family?

Does she—

“That thought is dangerous to dwell on,” the man interrupts her thought, looking very serene and calm even as her wide eyed, distressed gaze whips up toward him. There is neither amusement nor pity in his eyes, all that there is an understanding that she cannot truly comprehend by herself.

Then, the man smiles again, eyes crinkling in a way that makes him incredibly attractive despite half of his face being covered as it is.

“If you want to, I can give you a home to reside in.”

If it is possible, her eyes widen even further, astonished and hopeful beyond measure, and for the first time in almost forever, she lets out her voice.

“…Really? You will?”

“Sure, why not,” the man shrugs, “though there will be duties you will have to do. Call it a… compensation of sorts.”

She doesn’t let her doubt to show on her face, but from the man’s inquiring gaze toward her, she knows she’s been found out.

“I don’t really… know what to do, though.”

“It’s fine,” he says kindly, and she really can’t help but to be comforted. There’s something about the man that just seems to pull her in, as if despite his nonchalant posture, there’s a huge amount of charisma within him. “You can learn,” he continues. “And ah, before you think anything funny, there aren’t any funny things happening in my house, save for a few talking dogs and a grumbling tree.”

A _what_ now?

The man chuckles at her dumfounded expression, his eyes betraying the amusement he’s certainly having with their rather strange conversation.

“My name is Kakashi,” her mind reels at the mention of _name_ , but the man—Kakashi—raises his hand and shakes his head, “do not dwell on that thought now,” he says, and her earlier bout of panic is quickly forgotten for the sake of his strange words. How does he even know what she’s thinking of…?

“For you to reside within my abode, I shall give you a name,” Kakashi raises his hand, two fingers pointed on the air and she can only watch, mesmerized, as light comes forth, following the movement of his fingers as he writes. She doesn’t even think on how it’s strange that he knows she doesn’t know her name, but a name is a blessing, and if he’s about to give her a name and a home for her to live in, she finds herself unable to refuse.

“I’ve found you under this beautiful cherry blossom tree. It is just right that your name shall be related to it,” he murmurs, hand extended as the writing seems to imprint onto her collarbone—it’s a name, _her name,_ she thinks rather hysterically—and at the end, he says firmly, “come, Ouki.”

It happens in a flash of light, and when she realizes, she has settled in the man’s hand. She is no longer in the form she was before, but she knows that she is still whole, and that a certain missing part in her chest seems to be… filled up somehow.

“A tanto,” Kakashi hums, admiring the blade in his hold. There’s a flower mark on the blade, and Kakashi smiles to himself. “Perfect. You’ve been very brave, haven’t you?” he mutters absentmindedly, and yet Sakura cannot stop the flush of pride that rushes through her, despite her confusion at his last uttered words.

Kakashi takes her home that day, and through the way home, he explains on who he is—or more precisely, on _what_ he is—what is it that he does, the meaning of her mark and her duty, as well as his.

It takes her more than a few days to really settle in, to really think of herself as a Shinki, a regalia, a _sacred tool_ of the Gods, and furthermore the only Shinki Kakashi has at the moment, to look at the masked man and think that _this_ is the God of Land of Fire’s Farm Fields, the one who found her and saved her from a Storm of Phantoms that could have tainted her soul and turned her into a phantom herself.

The one who gave her a _name_.

It saddens her, sometimes, to remember that she has no recollection on who she used to be when she was human, that she couldn’t remember the name she used to have. But it doesn’t matter, or so Tenzo likes to tell her. For her to be a regalia, that means she has to die first as a human. If she has died before—and it could even have happened _decades_ ago—then surely her old family, whoever they were, have moved on by now.

 _There is no need to dwell in the past that you cannot remember_ , Tenzo will say, _not only it’s a dangerous path that will bring forth your downfall as well as your master’s. You are now Sakura, aren’t you? Kakashi-senpai and I, we are your family now_. _That’s what matters most, isn’t it?_

And… it’s true.

Tenzo, who was born from Kakashi’s love and devotion toward the tree a monk had planted, who has scary dead fish eyes and creepy thundering voice when he’s mad, is a really kind spirit. Born literally from a huge banyan tree standing right beside Kakashi’s temple, offering shade and comfort, the tree spirit’s smiles are very nice to look at, and despite not being a regalia, he teaches Sakura of her duty in the temple and offers her help every now and then.

And Kakashi is the kind of owner that Sakura can’t imagine replacing for the whole world.

He’s calm, composed, and very kind. He patiently taught her when she was struggling with her Boundaries, he takes her on patrols to hunt disturbing Phantoms, and even taught her some songs to ward off evil spirits.

Although he’s a pervert—because she’s seen his stack of porn books, and isn’t it jarring, to see a _God_ reading porn—and very lazy at times, he seems to always know whenever she’s conflicted or sad.

 _It’s the bond between us_ , Kakashi told her one day, _when I named you, I gave you a part of my life. We are, in a way, connected as one._ He smiled at her, then, tucking a stray hair behind her ear like the romantic sap he secretly is, even when Sakura is nothing but a mere servant.

( _Partner_ , he will demand, whenever he hears her mention herself as such. _You’re my partner, not my servant.)_

 _I can feel it,_ the God continued, still looking at her with that soft look she never sees him wear when they’re out patrolling the perimeters, _whenever you’re sad, angry, or lonely, I can feel it. That’s why I will always be able to be there when you need me._

 _I’m sorry,_ she apologized then, feeling somehow worse for herself. _I must have really troubled you with my feelings._

 _There is no need for you to be ashamed for feeling some things, Sakura-chan,_ he assured her, patting her head. _It is entirely normal, and you are no trouble at all, really. You’re my regalia. You’re my responsibility and I will always be here to help you. Just like how you feel it as an honor to serve me, it is an honor for me to make sure you’re safe and well loved._

 _We are each other’s’ responsibilities,_ he smiled, somehow sounding giddy despite her very nearly crying in front of him at that moment. _It’s really exciting, don’t you think?_

She nearly bowled him over with her hug.

He is indeed very kind, and very, very warm.

Still, as a mere God of the Farm Fields, he simply adheres to duties containing his job description, which is _farm fields_ and very rarely meddles in Phantom hunt in another areas, though it’s mostly because of her. There was one time, when they went out for a hunt and Kakashi nearly got beheaded by a katana, courtesy by the God of War, whom Kakashi calls as _Obito_ , simply for getting into the grumpy God’s territory.

Fair to say that Sakura ends up yelling at Kakashi whenever he’s about to trespass again during each one of their patrols.

It’s just _fair._ She was so scared back then. Her master would die, and even if she knows he’ll reform again, simply because there are quite a whole lot of farmers who believe in the silver haired God, it just won’t be the same. When a God is born again, the God’s previous memories will be gone, which means the new Kakashi will be different from the lanky pervert she knows and she’s somehow very _very_ afraid of that.

It’s selfish, but she doesn’t want to lose him, and even if she has to die in order to prevent him on ever dying, she’ll gladly do so. It is both her duty as a regalia and her selfish desire in keeping him alive and well.

Nevermind that Kakashi seems to find it as a hobby to infuriate her now that she’s settled in her duties as a regalia, Kakashi is still the one who gave her a name and a home, and that already means the whole world for her.

“You can die! You nearly died back then! Do you wanna die?!” She yells at him through the link they have as Kakashi grips her firmly in her tanto form, as yet again, Kakashi is about to trespass in another one of Obito’s territory.

“Maa, Sakura-chan,” he sighs dramatically, leaping from one roof to another, “you’re such a worrier. It’ll be fine, it’s just a few meters, Obito won’t min—“

“ _NO._ ”

“But there are no more phantoms in the area,” the God whines, and Sakura honestly cannot tell how can a thousand years old God be this childish. She’ll ask Tenzo, but from the many times he slams his head on the wall whenever Kakashi does something stupid, she’s pretty sure Tenzo has no slightest idea either. “I need my exercise, Sakura-chan, don’t you see I’ve grown a belly?”

“That’s your own fault for sleeping all the time when Tenzo-san and I work in the temple,” she snaps, knowing that Kakashi is _barely “_ developing a belly”. The God always makes it a point to exercise in the morning despite being super lazy and late when it comes to actual work, and she’s seen his _muscles_ , okay. Growing a belly, her ass.

“Maa, what is the purpose of servants if not for doing the master’s work?” He sing-songs.

Sakura twitches. She has no answer for that. Damn it. “Just… _no_ ,” she grounds out in the end, “not his territory. Not for patrol, anyway.”

“Then, let’s go there to get some takoyaki!” Kakashi seems to brighten, “Aah, I’m starving.”

Oh my _God._ She cannot believe this man.

“I thought you said you’re growing a belly!”

“Ah, I did, didn’t I?” He hums, though by the glint in his eyes he knows that Sakura knows he’s not growing a belly and thus has called him out on his bullshit since approximately three minutes ago. “Let’s hunt, then.”

“ _No,_ we’re not hunting in this area! Kakashi, why won’t you listen to me? What if he attacks you again?”

“Well, you’re here to protect me, aren’t you?” Kakashi says, all playful and innocent comment, further proven by the smile still visible even though it is covered with his mask, but in the midst of her distress, Sakura doesn’t notice, and instead she says—

“What if I _can’t_?” She stresses out; despair clear on her tone that it makes Kakashi stops short in his yet another leap toward an unsuspecting person’s roof. “I’m just a tanto, and he has both armor and katana. I think I even see a gun hanging on his armor. A _gun,_ Kakashi. He has more regalia than you! What if I cannot protect you? I can’t take the risk, Kakashi, I _can’t_.”

“Sakura…”

“No patrol in his territory, please.”

Kakashi sighs. “I understand. But for the record, Sakura-chan, I think you are perfectly capable of handling anything thrown your way.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do. I named you, and by proxy that means I know everything about you.”

Sakura scoffs, though she’s feeling lighter than before, she doesn’t know if it’s because of his agreement, or his praise toward her abilities. “Sure, old man,” she ignores Kakashi’s indignant squawk of ‘ _old man?!’_ and continues on, “come on, I bet there are storms brewing in Tsunade-sama’s area.”

.

.

.

.

 _That’s weird_ , Sakura thinks, as she opens yet another door and sees no silver haired man in sight.

 _He usually doesn’t go out around this hour,_ she shuffles her feet outside toward the one man who must know where her master went off to, _what is he doing?_

“Tenzo-san?” Sakura approaches the spirit who is sitting comfortably under his very own tree, her fingers twisting against each other nervously, “do you know where Kakashi went off to?”

“Ah,” Tenzo blinks, nodding. “I think Tsunade-sama calls him in for a favor.”

“A favor?” Sakura says incredulously, furrowing her eyebrows, “From the Goddess of Poverty? But he didn’t bring me along.”

Which is strange, because as far as she knows, Tsunade-sama has always called for other Gods or Goddesses to freely come into her territory for Phantom hunts, simply because if she uses either Dan or Nawaki, no matter if they are very kind and cute, she will simply cause Phantom Storms rather than slaying them.

“Perhaps it’s not the usual one, Sakura,” Tenzo assures her. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Kakashi-senpai knows what he’s doing.”

“If you say so…” She acquiesces. She’s Kakashi’s only regalia, after all. If there is anything he’s about to do resembling a phantom hunt, she is sure that Kakashi will come and either take her to do it right away or consult her.

Except that he doesn’t, because Kakashi comes home with a new regalia in tow, without even informing Sakura or Tenzo about it beforehand.

“Guys, this is Naruto. He’s my new regalia. Make sure you become great friends with him, yes?”

Sakura manages to give out an introduction at least, better than Tenzo who is busy gaping at Kakashi who stares back at him with a straight face. Naruto, the regalia with whisker marks on his face, shuffles nervously before he bellows.

“My name is Naruto! It’s nice to meet you, ‘ttebayo!”

Sakura’s eyes that widen at his sudden shout, soften when Naruto glances nervously between the two other residents in the temple right after his loud declaration, because she knows he must be at least as confused as she used to be, when she had first gotten a name, and lets herself smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Naruto,” she says, her gaze focused on Naruto and thoroughly ignoring the inquiring stare she knows is boring into her skull, ignoring the man standing beside the freshly named regalia.

Why the sudden introduction of a new regalia? She doesn’t know. And it doesn’t matter much, she thinks, because it is very well within Kakashi’s rights as a God to name any spirit he wants to have as his sacred tools. It’s not what shocks her so; it’s not what settles heavily into her chest and makes it hard for her to breathe.

Instead, she cannot fathom as to why he won’t tell her of his reasons, even when she asks later that night.

There’s a throbbing in her chest that won’t go away, when Kakashi dismisses her questions and diverts her attention to something else, when he asks her if she cannot accept Naruto, which she totally can, really, because it will be like having a brother, and she’s sure it will be fantastic.

But she just wants to know _why_.

Why so sudden? Why now?

Kakashi doesn’t answer her and instead ushers her to her bedroom.

_Why won’t you tell me anything?_

Isn’t she his first regalia after a few years going without any? She doesn’t know what becomes of his old regalias, but she has been his first after a few years only having Tenzo as a partner and—

And shouldn’t it mean something?

There’s a throbbing in her chest that won’t go away, and desperately, she hopes Kakashi doesn’t notice.

.

.

.

Kakashi does notice.

It takes a few days, but when Sakura goes to his room to wake him up does it show her on how much of her internal turmoil has done towards her master.

Kakashi is writhing on the ground, barely heard whimpers coming out of his usually masked lips and the tell-tale of blight appearing on his skin. It’s small, and yet, it’s a blight nonetheless; the sign of an impure God—or rather, an impure regalia affecting its master.

Her first thought was of Naruto, but Yamato had been and still is hovering around the new regalia; teaching him the rules, normalizing him to the situation, guiding him on how to be a regalia, just like how he did to Sakura years ago.

Yamato will _not_ under any circumstances allow Naruto fall into any sort of thoughts or deeds that can cause blight upon Kakashi.

And thus, the fault rests on her shoulders.

Her and her impure thoughts.

There’s pain in her chest, now self-directed, and she has to force herself to touch and hold onto Kakashi— _dirty, filthy, traitor,_ her mind seems to torture her, _you did this, you don’t deserve to touch him_ —as she tries to shake him awake.

“Kakashi—“ She says in alarm, “Kakashi, wake up.”

All he manages is a grunt, and even then the skin behind his neck and his palms are burning, and it is only through her usual quick thinking is that she manages to remember the holy water in the bathroom.

The pink haired regalia turns on the shower, all but dragging the both of them under the water. In her hold, Kakashi hisses, cracking his eyes open with such difficulty as the blight on his skin slowly recedes.

“I’m sorry,” she manages to let out, holding onto the God’s yukata, “I’m sorry, I caused this. I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_ , I’ll accept any punishment, I promise. You can—You can—“ she chokes on a sob, “You can take my name away.”

“What?” Kakashi croaks out, “Don’t be silly, Sakura-chan. That name suits you.”

“But I caused _this_!” She very nearly screams, because how can Kakashi not get _the point_? “I _sinned_. I made you feel pain. _Regalia_ ,” she stresses out, “shouldn’t do that.”

It takes a few seconds of silence, when the silver haired God simply stares at Sakura, gaze contemplative but not unkind, as the regalia is almost draping herself on top of her master, panting and both soaking wet.

“Well,” the God finally starts, “usually Gods take away the regalia’s name and banish them for even a slight blight.”

Sakura presses her lips together, cheeks burning in shame as tears threaten to pour from her eyes. “I know. Yamato-san told me.”

Another contemplative silence, before, “do you want your name to be taken away from you, Sakura-chan?”

The regalia can’t help but to draw in a shuddering breath, her grip on the God’s yukata tightening as she forces herself to answer, “if you want to release me, I shall accept.”

“Mah,” Kakashi sits up slowly, the water still descending upon them, “that doesn’t really answer my question, Sakura-chan. Do you or do you not want me to release your name?”

“….”

“You can answer me truthfully,” he says gently, easing her fingers away from his soaked yukata, “I won’t be angry, I promise.”

“…I don’t want to,” she strangles out, and can’t help but to add, “It’s my name.”

Kakashi hums, “it is, isn’t it?”

“It’s going to be strange if someone calls me with a different name,” if there is even another God that will want to bring her in, that is, “but— But if you want to… I…”

“Now, I didn’t say I was going to release you,” he interrupts, eyes crinkling in a smile when Sakura’s head whips up to stare at her master incredulously, “I was asking if that’s what _you_ want.”

“But—I—You— _Blight_!”

“Ah, yes, the blight. It really hurt. It has been quite a few decades since I last gotten a blight,” he hums, “well, it’s normal for regalia to cause blights once in awhile. So it’s okay.”

“But—But I—“ She stutters, “If I had continued without knowing, you could have _died_. You could have died and it would be because of _me_ , and—and I won’t be able to forgive myself for that, I won’t be—“

A warm hand settles on her head, ruffling the wet hair a little bit and successfully silencing Sakura from her ramble.

“It’s okay, Sakura-chan,” he ruffles her hair again, “I’m still alive, aren’t I? And you’ve repented. All that matters now is that I won’t release your name, you don’t _want_ your name to be released, so now all we have to do is talk.”

“…Talk?” She manages to ask through wobbling lips, because he said _it’s okay_ , he said he won’t release her, even if she’s done such a heavy mistake—

“Yes, talk,” he nods, “what started _this_ in the first place? Do you not like Naruto’s presence, after all?”

“No,” she replies immediately, “Naruto’s been nothing but wonderful and helpful. I was just…. Scared.”

Kakashi hums, “scared?”

“I… Yes, “ she manages to nod, “his appearance was so sudden I thought—I thought that maybe… I’m not that good of a… regalia and you were somehow… disappointed in me?”

Kakashi starts, blinking in surprise. His mouth opens to talk, but barely manages to let out a confused sound as she barrels on.

“I mean—It had been so _long_ and you never hinted of wanting a new regalia so I thought—I thought maybe I wasn’t that much useful? Or maybe I’ve disappointed you in some way or maybe I was too annoying with my nagging so you wanted a new regalia so— _Anyway_ ,” she bows her head, “I shouldn’t have done that anyway, since it’s your right and everything, _I’m so sorry_.”

“Sakura,” a finger touches her chin, lifting her head in order for her to face him, who is smiling a bit ruefully.

“You’re never a disappointment,” he says, clearing whatever lingering doubt in her mind, “you have always been a great regalia. You’re not useless nor are you annoying. You’re a _tanto_ , okay, and don’t tell Naruto this, but for me tanto is better than a bazooka any day,” he smiles a bit when Sakura giggles, caressing her cheek with his hand. “You’re an amazing regalia and you’re _my_ regalia. I told you, didn’t I? You’re my responsibility and I will always be here to help you. It is an honor for me to make you feel safe and well loved. And I do,” he pauses, “love you, that is.”

At the last sentence, her cheeks burn in something different than shame and the regalia ducks her head to hide the smile slowly stretching on her lips.

“And the thing with Naruto, Tsunade-sama actually asked me to do some… hunting. But I thought coming back and going there would be a hassle and I saw a fresh young soul, so I thought, _eh, why not_ ,” he shrugs, “and that’s how I got a bazooka as one of my weapons now. I think Obito will be surprised the next time I meet him. Can you believe it? A _bazooka_. And it’s _orange_.”

Sakura snorts, pushing Kakashi shoulder playfully. “Don’t talk about Naruto like that,” she admonishes, “and you’re _not_ going anywhere near the God of Calamity’s area, old man.”

“Sure,” Kakashi chirps, “whatever my wonderful, beautiful regalia says.”

Sakura flushes deep red. “Stop that.”

“Stop what, my charming, beautiful, cute, wonderful—“ Kakashi laughs as Sakura hits his chest in embarrassment, cutting off his many words of compliments toward his regalia. The God’s arms circle around her waist, and he lifts his eyes to look at the shower that is _still_ on.

“Say, Sakura-chan.”

“…Hmm?”

“What do you say about taking a shower together?”

* * *

**Things not included in the story:**

  * Naruto wreaking havoc in the kitchen when he tries to cook for the first time, almost burning the kitchen down and managing to make Yamato cry.
  * Yamato staring down at the koi pond with his dead fish eyes as he contemplates his life choice as the tree spirit thoroughly loyal to the God of Farmfields.
  * Yamato staring at Kakashi having to be dragged by his feet by Sakura just so he will do his share of chores.
  * _Why is this his life, oh my God_
  * Yamato never regretting being loyal to Kakashi anyway.
  * Naruto crying when he eats Sakura’s cooking. It’s just _that_
  * Kakashi casually commenting on how Sakura’s cooking used to be so awful Naruto will probably do something more than cry if he tried it.
  * Sakura slamming her foot down Kakashi’s as retaliation for that comment.
  * Kakashi’s girly yelp.
  * Kakashi taking both Naruto and Sakura on a patrol and meeting Obito.
  * Naruto turning into a bazooka and almost obliterating Obito.
  * Obito in his realm being like, _but why is the bazooka orange?_ Because of course that is the Most Important Thing Ever.
  * Rin just staring at Obito like, _Obito, master, I love you but you need to tune down your love for orange._
  * Obito’s whining vs Rin’s sound arguments in the God of Calamity’s realm.
  * Rin wins.
  * Tsunade being coddled by Dan and Nawaki and being reminded each day on how even though she’s the God of Poverty, she’s still very precious and the best thing in Dan and Nawaki’s life.
  * Tsunade accidentally causing storms because she just _has_ to use Dan or Nawaki, okay.
  * **Kakashi’s actual reason for gaining Naruto.**
  * A God’s greatest secret is the regalia’s true name when they were still alive, as well as their past, and the request Tsunade bestowed upon him was too close for comfort.
  * It was to help a human whose train of thoughts were inviting Phantoms, and if it was let be, the human would die.
  * The human’s name is Yamanaka Ino, and Kakashi _knows_ her, not because Kakashi is a stalker, but more because he has Sakura’s old memories.
  * Yamanaka Ino has photos of Sakura—or rather, of _Haru_ —in her room and it would prove to be disastrous if Sakura sees it and becomes _curious_. If worse becomes worse, she’ll be interested in knowing about her past and she’ll turn into a _Phantom_ and he will have to _kill_ her if that happens.
  * Kakashi will gut himself before that ever happens, thank you very much.
  * And so, he takes the nearest soul he can find.
  * It’s a bonus that Naruto is such a cute kid.
  * Loud, but still cute.
  * Though Kakashi can’t help but to think on how it must be ridiculous to see him holding an _orange_ bazooka out of all things.
  * Also, they did end up showering together.
  * By the middle of it, it was not showering anymore.




End file.
